


Danny Gets the Talk

by using_this_name



Series: Crackity Crack [43]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Crack, Creeper Peter, Drabble, Humor, I'm the Alpha Now!, M/M, Public Groping, Restraining Orders, Roleplay, my cousin Miguel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 08:44:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/using_this_name/pseuds/using_this_name
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pack gets together to explain some things to Danny.  Most of them are things that Danny would really rather have remained ignorant of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Danny Gets the Talk

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Danny Gets the Talk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/935114) by [chatain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chatain/pseuds/chatain)



**Scott:**  So, basically, we’re all werewolves.

 **Isaac:**  Except Stiles.

 **Allison:**  And me.

 **Peter:**  And Lydia. But she’s tastier that way.

 **Lydia:**  I have a restraining order, creeper.

 **Stiles:**  Aw. Now I miss Jackson.

 **Everyone:**  Yeah…

 **Scott:**  Um. Anyway, werewolves. Some of us are werewolves.

 **Danny:**  Don’t worry. That’s still pretty alarming.

 **Derek:**  The important thing to remember is that I am the Alpha.

 **Stiles:**  We know, honey.

 **Danny:**  I’m more concerned that you’re feeling up your cousin…?

 **Derek:**  We’re not related. My relatives do not touch my genitalia.

 **Peter:**  Not for lack of trying.

 **Derek:**  I have a restraining order.  And having you disobey it would reflect badly on an Alpha. Which I am. One of. I’m the Alpha.

 **Stiles:**  We know, honey. You are very scary.

 **Danny:**  Got it. You’re just an alpha, sitting there, borderline molesting your not-cousin, Stiles. Who is also not a werewolf.

 **Derek:**  Stiles needs more protection because he’s human. So I have to keep an eye on him. Because I’m the…

 **Stiles:**  We know, honey.

 **Scott:**  We all know. But what’s important is that there are hunters. Hunters are bad.

 **Allison:**  Hey!

 **Scott:**  Except Allison. ‘Cause she’s really pretty.

 **Peter:**  One could use the same argument for Chris.

 **Chris:** *disembodied voice from the woods* I HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER!

 **Peter:**  GET IN LINE, PRETTY BOY!

 **Danny:**  Werewolves and hunters. Got it. Anything else?

 **Derek:**  You should know about pack dynamics. There is an Alpha, obviously. That’s me. Then there are betas. That’s all of them. And then there are omegas, who die.

 **Stiles:**  Alternatively, there is some very fun alpha/omega roleplay you can do. It involves an obscene amount of lube….

 **Derek:**  Yeah, but it’s worth it…

 **Danny:**  That is more about your sex life than I ever wanted to know.

 **Stiles:**  I didn’t tell you which one of us got to be the alpha in that particular situation…

 **Danny:**  Werewolves, hunters, kinky roleplay…what else do I need to know about before I can leave? Please?

 **Scott:**  There was a kanima? But I think you’re good now.

 **Lydia:**  Oh! Here’s the paperwork to get a restraining order against Peter. When he hits on you and makes you uncomfortable, you just fill it out and give it to Stiles. The Sheriff is pretty used to it by now.

 **Stiles:**  Also, tell us the when and the how. We have a pool going.

 **Danny:**  Um. Thanks. I’m going to leave now. Not because I’m uncomfortable with werewolves, but because I am uncomfortable with all of you as people.

*later that night*

 **Derek:**  STILES!

 **Stiles:**  THAT’S RIGHT, BITCH!

 **Scott:**  YOU GUYS KNOW WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU, RIGHT?

 **Derek:**  HARDER!

 **Scott:**  WE’LL JUST GO, THEN!

 **Stiles:**  I’M THE ALPHA NOW!!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want updates as they happen, follow me on tumblr, where I am going by using-this-name (with dashes instead of underscores).
> 
> I would also LOVE any prompts that you would like to send me on tumblr. Any pairing, or any trope!


End file.
